[HAIL PIKEVILLE!]

Attention Steeler Nation:
I have received a transmission from Heinz Field and it reads as follows:
To all our fans:
From this point forward all fans who spot a Steeler player in a bar or nightclub in ANY part of the country. Please approach the player and ask them to leave. Remind them that they play for the organization that is THE STANDARD by which all NFL teams are measured and they should conduct themselves in a consistent manner.
If the player does not leave then follow these simple instructions.
Go to your local pharmacy and ask for chloroform. If the pharmacy is closed then consult your local mafia boss or CIA agent. Return to the Bar and soak the Chlororform on a napkin. Then gently approach the player and ask for his autograph on the aforementioned napkin. (Please note: Limas Sweed will drop the napkin at least twice and, if the napkin is yellow, every time you come toward Willie Colon with it he will instinctively back up ten yards.) As the player goes for his pen to sign the napkin press the napkin firmly against his mouth. The player will be fully subdued in a few seconds. After that time please promptly contact Coach Tomlin or myself and we will pick up the player in question immediately. I am and will remain grateful for your help with our team.

Sincerely,
Arthur Rooney II

PS do not try to chloroform any former Steeler players for Jack Lambert will kill you and your entire family.