[Jshort5]

The House and Senate unanimously approved a bill to bailout the Cincinnati Bengals. The bill would give the Bengals 8 wins automatically at the beginning of each season, the team would then have an opportunity to try to win enough games in the 16 week season to qualify for the playoffs. Experts predict that Cincy would have to win 2-4 games per season to qualify for post season play.

The 4 candidates for President and V.P. weighed in on the bill;

Barack Obama- This is the kind of change I've fought for in my long career in the US Senate.

Joe Biden- I know what suck is, I'm from Scranton, PA for gods sake. I love John McCain.

Sarah Palin- That is the kind of maverick move that John and I will bring to America.

John McCain- Tiger cages suck.

After the bill is put into law we'll see how the team responds.

Mike Brown was unavailable for comment due to his duty to count his money.