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10-29-2012, 11:55 PM
Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
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Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
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What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.
___________________________________________
How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.
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How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.
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Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
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A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.
He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
___________________________________________ ___________________________________________
What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
"Will the defendant please rise."
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If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
The police officer.
___________________________________________
How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
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What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________
University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the
other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________
How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?
They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________
Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________
How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
___________________________________________
What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football playerâs life?
Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III
___________________________________________
Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________
What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.
___________________________________________
How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.
___________________________________________
How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.
___________________________________________
Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
___________________________________________
A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.
He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
___________________________________________ ___________________________________________
What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
"Will the defendant please rise."
___________________________________________
If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
The police officer.
___________________________________________
How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
___________________________________________
What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________
University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the
other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________
How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?
They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________
Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________
How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
___________________________________________
What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football playerâs life?
Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
âRelax, all right? Donât try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, theyâre fascist. Throw some ground balls â itâs more democratic.â
Crash Davis
![[-]](https://bluegrassrivals.com/forum/images/lifestyle/collapse.png)
10-30-2012, 12:13 AM
^Ya I know.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
âRelax, all right? Donât try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, theyâre fascist. Throw some ground balls â itâs more democratic.â
Crash Davis
10-30-2012, 02:19 AM
What's an oil change?
normal response: procedure necessary for a car
USC football player: a way to pass a drug test
normal response: procedure necessary for a car
USC football player: a way to pass a drug test
10-31-2012, 10:28 AM
Good ones OTH.
10-31-2012, 11:25 AM
That Urban Meyer things was an actual Bowden quote about, I believe Brad Johnson:
With Bobby Bowden retired and the Florida State Seminoles crushing Samford on Saturday, I thought it'd be appropriate to list my five favorite quotes from Bowden from my website:
5. "You want to know what a real test of faith is? That's when you go to church and reach into your pocket and all you've got is a $20 bill."
-- Bowden
4. "They look so good to me. I'm amazed they're not on strike."
-- Bobby Bowden on Florida State losing to the University of Miami during the NFL strike
3. "I know their mother -- she'd give them all my plays."
-- Bowden, on why he doesn't want to play against his sons' teams
2. "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
-- Bowden, on one of his players
And my No. 1 favorite quote from Bowden, drum roll please â¦
1. "The Good Lord might not want to take me, but He might be after the pilot."
-- Bowden, on his fear of small planes
http://espn.go.com/espn/page2/index?id=5531719
With Bobby Bowden retired and the Florida State Seminoles crushing Samford on Saturday, I thought it'd be appropriate to list my five favorite quotes from Bowden from my website:
5. "You want to know what a real test of faith is? That's when you go to church and reach into your pocket and all you've got is a $20 bill."
-- Bowden
4. "They look so good to me. I'm amazed they're not on strike."
-- Bobby Bowden on Florida State losing to the University of Miami during the NFL strike
3. "I know their mother -- she'd give them all my plays."
-- Bowden, on why he doesn't want to play against his sons' teams
2. "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
-- Bowden, on one of his players
And my No. 1 favorite quote from Bowden, drum roll please â¦
1. "The Good Lord might not want to take me, but He might be after the pilot."
-- Bowden, on his fear of small planes
http://espn.go.com/espn/page2/index?id=5531719
10-31-2012, 11:41 PM
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
nicker:
nicker:
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