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03-30-2006, 12:58 AM
Swimming Race
There were three women. One was blonde haired, one was brown haired, and one was black haired. They were having a swimming race. (They had to use the breast stroke). The black haired one came 5 mins. later. The brown haired one came 10 mins. later.
Then the blonde came 5 hours later and said, "I swear those other women were using their arms."
Borrowing the Car
A boy asked his father if he could borrow the car one Friday night to take his girlfriend out.
"Sure," said the father, "if you do three things: get good grades, stay out of trouble, and cut your long hair."
A few months went by, and the boy came back to his dad.
"Dad, I've gotten good grades, and I've stayed out of trouble. Can I borrow the car Friday night?"
"You're right," the father said, "you did everything except for one thing - you didn't cut your long hair."
"But Dad," the boy replied, "Jesus had long hair... Moses had long hair." "Yeah," said the father, "and they walked everywhere they went, too."
Staying Positive
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.
"You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my hair is grey, my shoulders are hunched over, I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby." She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself." He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."
There were three women. One was blonde haired, one was brown haired, and one was black haired. They were having a swimming race. (They had to use the breast stroke). The black haired one came 5 mins. later. The brown haired one came 10 mins. later.
Then the blonde came 5 hours later and said, "I swear those other women were using their arms."
Borrowing the Car
A boy asked his father if he could borrow the car one Friday night to take his girlfriend out.
"Sure," said the father, "if you do three things: get good grades, stay out of trouble, and cut your long hair."
A few months went by, and the boy came back to his dad.
"Dad, I've gotten good grades, and I've stayed out of trouble. Can I borrow the car Friday night?"
"You're right," the father said, "you did everything except for one thing - you didn't cut your long hair."
"But Dad," the boy replied, "Jesus had long hair... Moses had long hair." "Yeah," said the father, "and they walked everywhere they went, too."
Staying Positive
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.
"You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my hair is grey, my shoulders are hunched over, I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby." She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself." He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."
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[YOUTUBE="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y2Ezx8SnN0"][/YOUTUBE]
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03-30-2006, 01:03 AM
Hahahahahah thats funny
03-30-2006, 01:33 AM
those are some pretty funny jokes
03-30-2006, 01:59 AM
hehe...cute
03-30-2006, 02:21 AM
:Clap: :Clap: :Clap: loved them all!!!
03-30-2006, 03:27 AM
good ones
03-30-2006, 05:13 AM
Lol
03-30-2006, 02:24 PM
haha... good ones
03-30-2006, 02:24 PM
thoughs are some real good ones. Im still laughing
03-30-2006, 03:18 PM
Nice!!!!!!!!!!
04-02-2006, 11:02 AM
Good ones
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