[WideRight05]

I am sure everybody has heard of Chuck Norris jokes, or jokes about the most interesting man in the world in the Dos Equis beer commercials. Thought I would make this thread for you guys to put in your favorite joke for one or both of these guys. Tell em away!

[Granny Bear]

I actually met Chuck Norris one time....fishing on Menemsha Bay in Martha's Vineyard, so this isn't a joke, it's actually true.

It was summer of 1992, and my husband and I took a driving vacation. We had never been to Martha's Vineyard and that area had been made famous by the movie "Jaws". So, we went to the area where one of the scenes were shot, and still had the hull of the boat used, to fish. A man was pier fishing and my husband and me had joined him before we realized that it was Chuck Norris. So, when we recognized who he was I asked him if he minded if I filmed him catching a fish. He was so nice and friendly!! I was a little surprised....and seemed to be a little flattered that we wanted to film him. So, we did!!

He thought he had a large fish, but in reality reeled in a bunch of seaweed.

[judgementday]

I actually met Chuck Norris one time....fishing on Menemsha Bay in Martha's Vineyard, so this isn't a joke, it's actually true.

It was summer of 1992, and my husband and I took a driving vacation. We had never been to Martha's Vineyard and that area had been made famous by the movie "Jaws". So, we went to the area where one of the scenes were shot, and still had the hull of the boat used, to fish. A man was pier fishing and my husband and me had joined him before we realized that it was Chuck Norris. So, when we recognized who he was I asked him if he minded if I filmed him catching a fish. He was so nice and friendly!! I was a little surprised....and seemed to be a little flattered that we wanted to film him. So, we did!!

He thought he had a large fish, but in reality reeled in a bunch of seaweed.

Great story...

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries.

[HawksRule]

Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear carpet in his bedroom. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars that is why there is no sign of life
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

[Granny Bear]

Those are great!!

[WideRight05]

Chuck Norris cut through a hot knife with butter.

And Granny Bear - that's a hillarious story!

[Deathstar 80]

Chuck Norris won a game of "Connect Four" in three moves.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

[GarnyJr]

Chuck Norris can sleep with his eyes open.

[WideRight05]

^ Hahahahha nice!!!

When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.

[HawksRule]

Here's my most interesting man in the world jokes
He once ran a marathon backwards just to see what second place looked like
He once taught a German Shepard to bark in Spanish

and one more Chuck Norris Joke
Chuck Norris's daughter once lost her virginity he got it back for her

[WideRight05]

^ Nice!!! Haven't heard the one especially about the marathon hahahaha!

Most interesting man joke:

"He once warned a psychic."

[RunItUpTheGut]

Theres entire websites dedicated to Chuck Norris and Tim Tebow jokes like these.

Not sure about the most interesting man.

[Granny Bear]

^^
I didn't know that!! I don't even know what is so billy bad ass about Chuck Norris!!

Guess my age is showing again..

[judgementday]

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the world down...

[Deathstar 80]

Some scientists today believe the Big Bang was the start of the universe, but they're mistaken. The Big Bang was when Chuck Norris was born.

[judgementday]

^best one yet

[GarnyJr]

Chuck Norris played rock, paper, scissors in front of a mirror and won.

[WideRight05]

Hahahah good one Deathstar!

The Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "the peas..."

Until they met Chuck Norris.

[judgementday]

Behind chuck norris' beard is not a chin but another fist...

[Spud6]

The virginity joke is hilarious!!

[WideRight05]

Chuck Norris is the only one to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

[WideRight05]

Chuck Norris once scared the fur off an ewok. We now know that Ewok as Snookie.

[#1 Blackcat Fan]

^lol

[RoShamBo]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

[WideRight05]

Chuck Norris once had a street named after him. However, the name had to be changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

[RoShamBo]

^Haha, that's a good one.

Chuck Norris actually died about fifteen years ago, but Death is afraid to confront him about it.

[WideRight05]

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

[judgementday]

Chuck Norris destroyed the Periodic Table of Elements because he only recognizes the Element of Fear...

[WideRight05]

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people.

Then the grenade exploded.

[judgementday]

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5

Chuck Norris has more money than you