[TidesHoss32]

Dear Cleveland Indians Baseball Club,
As I have been a baseball fan for quite sometime now, I must extend a hearty congratulations on your successful season. Now in your way stand the New York Yankees. Yes, THOSE New York Yankees. The team that pays washed up players astronomical salaries just so no one else can sign them for half of what they are worth (see, Carl Pavano). Indians, I cant tell you how much I hate the Yankees. Words dont express how much I hate them awful, devil worshipping Yankees. People associated with the Yankees hate old people (but they'll sign them for a trillion dollars if theyve ever hit a homerun). People associated with the Yankees hate children. People associated with the Yankees hate the poor. They hate Christmas. They hate Easter. They hate all that is good and kind. People associated with the Yankees would flatten the tires of a cold, starving family in the middle of winter 900 miles in the middle of nowhere. Indians, Im not even your biggest fan. I am a severly biased Pittsburgh Pirates fan (yeah, knocked those Yanks off in '60). But whatever you do, if its the last thing you do on earth as a human being, please, please, please beat the New York Mother F'n Yankees. Please give George Steinbrenner another cold, heart wrenching, heart breaking, miserable off season. I ask you this, as your new-for-one-series-only biggest fan. Please humilate, destroy, dismantle, ah hell, just beat the bastards, the rest will take care of itself. Thank you, and good luck. The rest of the baseball world (save for New York) is on your side.
Sincerely,
Tides Hoss 32.