[football05]

I hope this doesnt bore you all, sorry if it does.....

Smart Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."

Smart Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window.

"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.

Smart Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads,
"Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and
he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a
police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck
driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."

AND NOW........FOR THE..........

#1 SMART ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004...............

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I
won't tolerate any excuses for your not being here tomorrow. I might
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a
death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!"

A smart guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is
restored, the teacher smiles at the student, shakes her head and sweetly
says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."