[ComfortEagle]

Can you cry under water?
Yes, just because you are in water, it does not stop your body from excreting tears.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
A person who holds an office of power.

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
A branch in this form, refers to an area of a business.

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Most lunch meats now-a-days are square. Only bologna is still round, i assume this is done because it's easier to pack the meat that way.

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny >for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Your thoughts are often not worth as much as you think.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
No.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
It's easier to pack and stack that way.

What did cured ham actually have?
It's cured with salt. Since a goiter is caused by a salt-deficiency I'm assumed the pig had a goiter.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
We got lazy.

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Babies often only wake up every two hours when they are sick or need something. If they are perfectly fine they will sleep no matter what.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes.

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
No. But I don't know why you would want to.

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
A movie is a specific event. TV is an ever-present device of programs.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
To see if that quarter they threw really killed someone.

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Only two are considered smart enough. No, actually we have several to choose from. There are tons of political parties that run for the presidency. The two you are familiar with, the democrats and republicans, are not the only parties running.

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
To prepare themselves for how bad you look.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
His/her neighbor in the next cubicle.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Where bra only has one syllable it is much easier to oronounce as a singular word.