[2000PHS]

There used to be a momument just outside the 3rd base dugout that looked like a tombstone that had all of the years he had coached, one day a lady from a visiting team asked out loud "oh, is he buried there I didn't know he past away", Coach Adkins heard her and was coming off a bad round of golf(probably 2 under par)and replied "F* no I'm not buried there, I swear half the people in this town think I'm buried there and the over half wished I was." 

When I heard this i just turned away and made sure my face couldn't be seen.

Another one.  Two pitchers had just given up 14 runs to LC and coach was not happy and after the game he turned to them and said "Now guys I know our defense didn't help you much but GD some of those balls looked like they were shot out of a cannon, I don't know who has been blowing smoke up your A** but you two couldn't throw a ball through a...through...through a....through (searching for a word) piece of aluminum foil."

One more for now:  It was the last game of the regular season and we weren't playing very good because we had just got news that we drew MC in the district(please don't take offense MC fans but anyways) after about 2 straight walks followed by 3 errors Coach Adkins yelled to everyone within a country mile. (Insert that famous chuckle before this statement)  "Thats okay guys you drew Magoffin County in the district you might be able to play with them."