[The Urban Sombrero]

I find your post to be amusing. In reality, I am most likely to encounter those you mention at a rally for Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders both of whom seem to possess several of those traits. Hillary encompasses your first, second, and fourth listings and Bernie, from his past and present history, takes care of at least your first three. I believe that covers them all and we all know that Hillary only goes to church for the possible political benefits and Bernie couldn't find a church on a clear day.

The line about "a church service" was meant in jest. As to why people go to church, again, I am not the arbiter of mercy and grace, so I refrain from sorting the net.