[BlueGrassGirl]

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing her suitcase. He says, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Las Vegas. I heard ladies-of-the-night there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free."
Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she ask him where he's going, he replies, "I'm going to Vegas, too. I want to see you live on $800 a year."

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers in Florida and mine here in Kentucky.

There are two times when a man dosen't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage.

A man once told me, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was to late.

hilarious!