[RunItUpTheGut]

Continued...

RHODE ISLAND: Andre the Giant / Beer Pong / Blumpkins / How to roll a blunt? / MSNBC

Analysis: So is Rhode Island is just one big college fraternity?

SOUTH CAROLINA: The Benghazi Attack / Golf / Hootie & the Blowfish (band) / Nudist Colony

Analysis: After a long day of golfing, the remaining members of Hootie & the Blowfish like to take off their clothes, watch some FOX News, and complain about Darius Rucker’s solo career.

SOUTH DAKOTA: Nickelback

Analysis: Just Nickelback.

TENNESSEE: Elvis Presley

Analysis: Elvis left this earthly realm 37 years ago, but don’t tell that to Tennessee.

TEXAS: Are dinosaurs real? / Are zombies real? / The Bill of Rights / Boogers / Calf Implants / Can dogs talk? / Chupacrabra / Curves International (company) / Do I have herpes? / Does beer make you fat? / Government Mind Control / How to cook meth? / How to sell your soul to the Devil? / Justin Bieber (singer) / Krunk / Meth Recipes / Porn / Purple Drank / Rodeo / Snake Bites / Tacos

Analysis: Texas asks a lot of questions, has a worrisome level of interest in crystal meth, and probably a sore that should be looked at by doctor, but the Lone Star State also has a boatload of tacos. So many delicious tacos.

UTAH: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints / Def Leppard (band) / Demolition Derby / Girls Gone Wild / Global Warming Hoax / Jay Leno / Kama Sutra / Laser Hair Removal / Magic Tricks / Mustaches / Star Trek / Star Wars / Twinkie / Tinder / Twilight (book series) / Weird Al Yankovic (singer) / What is the internet?

Analysis: Utah spends too much time on the internet.

VERMONT: Kale Recipe / Annie Lennox (musician) / “The Daily Show” (TV show) / Gwar (band) / Poetry / Phish (band) / LSD / Stephen Colbert

Analysis: Perhaps it’s not surprising that Vermont is also the whitest state in America.

VIRGINIA: Barney & Friends (TV show)/ Blackeyed Peas (music group) / Che Guevara / Evolution / Farmville / Shakira (singer)

Analysis: Virginia, I love you, you love the Blackeyed Peas, this is why we can’t be a family.

WASHINGTON: Circumcision / Dungeons & Dragons / Gluten / Judas Priest (band) / Non-Alcoholic Beer / Pho, Quinoa / Rachel Maddow (TV Host) / Unicorn Tattoo / Happy Hour /

Analysis: At dinner parties in Washington state, it’s customary to follow the quinoa course a gluten-free dessert. After that, everyone retires to the library for a non-alcoholic beer and a casual conversation about circumcision.

WEST VIRGINIA: Anarchy / Belly Button Piercing / Cat Videos / Conspiracy Theories / Ferrets / Ghosts / How to make moonshine? / Infected Piercing / Meat Loaf Recipe / Methadone / Nancy Grace / Scabies / Second Amendment / Steroids / Vampires / Who let the dogs out?

Analysis: If U.S. states were competing in “The Bachelor”, West Virginia would be the first to not receive a rose.

WISCONSIN: Beanie Babies / Green Party / Log Rolling / Menthol Cigarettes / Mike’s Hard Lemonade / Oprah’s Book Club / Survival Shelter

Analysis: Wisconsin knows full well that in the event of an economic collapse, dollars will be replaced by a currency of cigarettes, alcohol, and Beanie Babies.

WYOMING: Ann Coulter / The Constitution / Crank / Rush Limbaugh / Sheep / Socialism

Analysis: Not a fun state to be a liberal alpaca farmer.