[Koachshr]

As a coach there is no doubt that kids are softer today. Without going into great detail about the causes I will give a few examples of what I believe to be the causes.

1. The sense of entitlement in society today is well beyond anything I can remember growing up. I was told that if I wanted to be good that I had to either be really talented or work really hard. Kids today expect to play without working during the off season to get better. Rewards come before work. As a parent I have made a rule that I use with my son who is 3. I may reward him for being good at the barber or sitting still in church but never do I reward him before the act that we want. Too many parents say "Ill give you this now, BUT....." this does not work. If reward is given before action then the kid develops entitlement and then the positive action you seek is often completely opposite when they are not "pre rewarded".
Simply put Kids feel that they are owed something besides the respect of coaches and honor that comes with playing this great game.

2. The "Madden syndrome". Why should I workout all summer to be good when I can program myself into a game and play it all summer and dominate on the "field". Too many kids today grow up with a skewed sense of reality. Don't get me wrong I enjoy a video game or two but I realize that I do not get better as a coach simply by playing Madden or NCAA. The work that has to be put in and is not being put in by players is part of that softness. I never was the best player but I took pride in the fact that no one was going to out hustle me in practice. You can beat me but you cant make me like it. Today if you hustle you are (and I quote this from a kid at practice) "Trying to make the rest of us look bad." Its not cool to give 100% anymore its frowned upon by those who are trying to give 60% and just get by.

3. Family life and Drugs- The real problem is that today we see so many single parent families and grandparents raising kids that the "normal" family that so many of us had is the unusual today. In my studies (I only include Eastern Kentucky because I did my research in 12 East KY counties for my Masters project), I found that a large percentage of single parents and grandparents raising grand kids were because of drug issues. The source of the softness becomes when a parent or grandparent blames themselves for the split or because they think they were "bad parents". In return they just try to "easy" love their child and let them get by with everything. Tough love is hard to understand at times. I have tough love for my players at times and sometimes I tell them things that they don't want to hear. But I'm honest with them. I've had issues and made mistakes in my life that I don't want them to make so I am tough on them when I see them developing those same traits.

I know that at times its easy for fans and others to see the results on a scoreboard and say' "This guy is a bad coach or I don't like the way that he does this or that." I do not coach for any reason that can be displayed on a scoreboard. My players will tell you that I am tough on them physically, mentally, and sometimes emotionally. My methods are not always understood by parents and fans but players a few years after football is over... they get it. And I am meek compared to Hoover Niece, my HS coach.
Scoreboards do not have a place for souls led to Christ, # of kids that you would die for, # of kids that would die for you, # of kids who you assume the role of dad, doctor, trainer, and psychologist. One thing that I like on the scoreboard that I use to measure If kids are tough is that When life gets you DOWN are you willing to go the DISTANCE. Quitting has become acceptable. We use to shun quitters and now other players join them so they dont have to be alone.

Sorry such a long post. With this soapbox under me I'm almost 6' tall. I always wondered what this felt like.

Russ Shearer
HC Jackson County