[Strikeout King]

TAMPA, FL—Ann Romney shocked the crowd at the Tampa Bay Times Forum into silence Tuesday, announcing during her remarks to the Republican National Convention that she plans to divorce her husband of 43 years, whom the party had just nominated for president of the United States. “Good evening and welcome! I want to use this opportunity to talk about my husband Mitt and ask him for a divorce,” said Romney, who sources confirmed received two seconds of applause before the audience processed what she had actually said. “Mitt Romney is fiscally strong, he has a great vision for this country’s future, and I’m requesting a very substantial figure in alimony. I strongly feel this is what’s best, both for me and for our family, and my decision is final. If he wants to discuss the matter further he can contact my attorney.” Following the speech, a beaming Mitt Romney reportedly walked across the stage, took the microphone from Ann, and asked the crowd, “Wasn’t she great, everybody?” to continued silence.





http://www.theonion.com/articles/breakin...stu,29354/