[Stardust]

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20100...4/9120366/

LAWRENCEBURG, Ind. - Everybody in a jammed ballroom of 500-some people at Hollywood Casino Saturday night for a roast of Pete Rose may have found out why Major League Baseball didn't allow Rose to address the fans at Great American Ball Park during his 4,192 ceremony

And it wasn't what they thought.

It wasn't that he was going to say something at the ballpark that might embarrass the game or Commissioner Bud Selig or that he might make a pitch to be allowed in the Baseball Hall of Fame or back into the game.

What Rose did at his own roast Saturday evening - closing the evening, after former teammates Tony Perez, Ken Griffey Sr., Cesar Geronimo, George Foster and Tom Browning had skewered him - was to break down in tears over betting on baseball during his Reds' managerial days in the late 1980s.

"I disrespected the game of baseball," Rose said. "When you do that, you disrespect your teammates, the game and your family."

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And here, he broke down, and began to sob. He fought off the tears, as he struggled to finish what he had come here to do. He talked about the late baseball commissioner Bart Giamatti telling him back in 1989 that he needed to "reconfigure" his life.

"I didn't know what that meant," Rose said. "It took me years and years (to come to grips with it) . . . I'm a hard-headed guy . . . But I'm a lot better guy standing here tonight (because of finally owning up to it)."

He apologized to his teammates who were seated to his right, on the main stage, as he spoke. He looked Perez right in the eyes and apologized to him; "I've known Tony 50 years - he's like a brother to me," Rose said. And he apologized to those former teammates who couldn't be here, among them Johnny Bench, Joe Morgan and Davey Concepcion.

"I guarantee everybody in this room, I will never disrespect you again," Rose said.

"You can talk about hits and runs and championship games . . . (But) I want my legacy to be (that of) somebody who came forward. If anybody has a problem here today, come forward. Don't hide it . . . You can run, but you can't hide. If I can help a young kid to know what I went through, maybe I can prevent them from going through the same thing.

"I got suspended 21 years ago. For 10-12 years, I kept it inside . . . That's changed. I'm a different guy . . . I love the fans, I love the game of baseball, and I love Cincinnati baseball."

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What had begun as a roast had turned into a repentance, the way people had always wanted it, and now, finally, had received it.

In, of all places, a casino ballroom.

"Nice, nice," said Perez afterward. "I was crying. He finally got it off his chest."

"Out of left field," said Browning, shaking his head. "I didn't see it coming."