[bigcoachallen]

I always like to get input from other coaches, about the how-to's and what-for's of coaching different drills and dealing with various scenarios related to Monday - Thursday... as well as Friday night. So, I will start it off with a common, but tough one: a parent comes to you and says you should play their kid ahead of another. What is the best way to handle this situation?

[BlackcatAlum]

IMO, be honest with the parent and tell them that their child doesn't give his best effort in practice and/or games.

If the other player is just more talented than tell the parent that their child will get his chance, whether its at another position or their original position.

[Real Badman]

Blackcat hit the nail on the head. Theres not much else you can say.

[Lambert #1]

Be direct and blunt. If they are not as good as the players in front of them tell them that their child needs to work harder in practice to earn the time they want them to have. There is no other real way to talk to parents if they are bold enough to ask such a question. Sometimes the truth hurts!

[UKisN1]

Amen, be honest. If they are bold enough to ask, they need to be told.

[Big Five-0-]

Be direct and blunt. If they are not as good as the players in front of them tell them that their child needs to work harder in practice to earn the time they want them to have. There is no other real way to talk to parents if they are bold enough to ask such a question. Sometimes the truth hurts!

100% Correct.

[Harry Doyle]

I think you should close off that window before the season even starts. Let the parents know that you, as a coach WILL NOT talk about playing time of their child or any other. How their child is doing in practice? Giving effort? Their attitude, be it good or bad? Those questions are ok to talk about. But, talking about actual playing time isn't. Period. It's going to be your (head coach and staff) way or the highway.

[fbcoachnoitall]

Tell them no discussion of playing time or other players period. Only discussion of what their son can do to get better period. Don't ever try to explain why they are not starting. No reason or explanation to parents will ever be good enough.

[UofK]

IMO, be honest with the parent and tell them that their child doesn't give his best effort in practice and/or games.

If the other player is just more talented than tell the parent that their child will get his chance, whether its at another position or their original position.

Perfectly stated.:Thumbs:

[OrangenowBlue]

Tell them no discussion of playing time or other players period. Only discussion of what their son can do to get better period. Don't ever try to explain why they are not starting. No reason or explanation to parents will ever be good enough.

This is exactly right. When you try to be diplomatic, you still will not please the parents and many of them will twist around what you have said and use it against you.

[bigcoachallen]

I have been working on a "handbook" that includes rules and guidelines for players, coaches, and parents/fans. One rule I have included (still a work in progress) is that playing time will not be discussed.

Here is another "coaching point":

An administrator comes to you (as the head coach) and tells you that your players will have to pay admission to get in at other sports, even though it has not been enforced the other way around. How would you deal with such a request?

[BlackcatAlum]

In that situation, it would come to me as an insult. Sounds like an admin is trying to drive me away proving that either too much money is spent on the sport or another sport is more favored by the administration.

I'd more than likely move on to another school, where the administration is more supportive.

[Deathstar 80]

The question about a parent coming to me and asking me why their child wasn't getting enough playing time, I would simply say that there are other kids who fit my "system". (I understand the parents would still be aggravated with me.) Before the season started, though, I would tell the parents to not talk to me about playing time.

About the Administrator, I would just accept his choice. If I didn't like his decision, I suppose I could find another coaching job, but it would be easier for me to just accept the Administrator's decision.

[bigcoachallen]

Bucking the system definitely never works. Everyone is replacable, at some point or another... it seems, anyway.

Here is another one:

Two players are having a continuous conflict on and off the field. They haven't actually had a physical confrontation, but are often mouthing off to each other (and not in the way that is motivational). What do you do, within the law?

[Youngerthandirt]

I always tell parents......"Don't ask a question if you can stand to hear the answer."

[Deathstar 80]

Many coaches might want to solve the problem for them, but I wouldn't do that unless I received permission from their parents to try to resolve the conflict (which would most likely never happen). I would probably tell the players to stop arguing and that they didn't have to be friends, but they did have to respect each other. After saying that, I would sit down with and politely tell their parents of my talk with their kids and what could possibly happen if this conflict continues. I would leave the conflict with their parents, and hopefully they could end their kid's conflict. (It's completely immoral of me to try to resolve the conflict seeing that it deals with their personal life. I would let their parents solve their own kid's personal conflicts.)

If the conflict continues, I will warn both of them that they had to start respecting each other. If I see them argue a third time, I will suspend them from games (a minimum of 1 game) until they can get along with each other.

If any problem with parents occur (such as if the two families argue who started the conflict, etc.), the best thing for me to do is to ignore them completely.

[Brooks4Prez]

I think you should close off that window before the season even starts. Let the parents know that you, as a coach WILL NOT talk about playing time of their child or any other. How their child is doing in practice? Giving effort? Their attitude, be it good or bad? Those questions are ok to talk about. But, talking about actual playing time isn't. Period. It's going to be your (head coach and staff) way or the highway.

And along these same lines I think you have to stress to the kids that everyone will have a role on the team that is crucial. Maybe not as a starter or guy that plays a lot but an important role none the less. And thats not just to make them feel good about themselves but something that is true with all successful programs.

[Deathstar 80]

And along these same lines I think you have to stress to the kids that everyone will have a role on the team that is crucial. Maybe not as a starter or guy that plays a lot but an important role none the less. And thats not just to make them feel good about themselves but something that is true with all successful programs.

True. Even the players who just sit on the bench are extremely important. Not only are they backups, but also they're motivators. If you're playing and you look to your team cheering like crazy for you, it's going to motivate you to do better.