[Old School Hound]

I don't know if this will be cathartic or just makes things worse, but I told you I would always be honest with you and be true to who I am  and what I'm experiencing in my life. If there are others here who are going through some of the same things, maybe it will help knowing you are not alone here. I have struggled with mental illness for some time now(SHOCKER, I know...lol). But after the sudden passing of my mother a couple years ago,  things in my mind that were bad got magnified and exascerbated. It has become an insidious monster of the mind.  The depression is , indeed, crippling. The best way I could describe it is to think of the one thing that makes you sadder than you've ever been in your life, and then imagine feeling sad like that 24/7. 

Having parents(and step parents) that are very sick, dying, or already passed has contributed in a major way to triggering the devastating depressive thoughts and feelings. The physical pain hasn't helped, either. Terrible knee pain due to years of running make it hard to sleep. Trying to care for animals that I can no longer physically or mentally care for takes the stress to another level and triggers more depression. It's a vicious cycle of sadness-depression-pain-more sadness-more depression-more pain, that never ends.

It is a battle, good folks, that I am losing.  I am battling hard but I feel like it is overwhelming me, overtaking me, suffocating every ounce of joy that remains.  These are the times that I do envy the sincere folks who rely upon faith to help them when the going gets tough. Unfortunately, that's not something I have to fall back on. I'm alone in this fight... and I'm losing. In the past, I have kinda dismissed it as something I will eventually shake free of. Now, I can forsee this inner demon eventually taking my life. Deep down, it's not what I want to happen but it is becoming what I feel will happen.

I wish there was a way to get a reset. Just start anew, fresh,  without the monster inside. The Spirit , Soul, Inner Being , Core...whatever term one uses for that deeper part of oneself that connects to the Universe in a way that makes everything meaningful and purposeful needs healing. Maybe medications can help. Maybe medication is just a start and one just has to find something within himself to vanish the monster inside. I don't know.  I just know I'm losing this fight. Will it reach a point where recovering one's self is no longer possible and insanity wins forever.

If there is anyone else who suffers from  a dark depression and you fight with yourself and against yourself every day? I mean , we all have our days when we  feel beaten down by circumstances in life , right?  Do you ever feel like it's getting the better of you? Is there a way to find a healing for a hurting spirit that doesn't involve religion. To me, that question is rhetorical, as I don't think religion is a necessary ingredient but I also don't know that there are any magical healing hands or any healing rain that can wash away all of the sadness and give abundant life to pure joy, again. 

I wish there was a way out of this that didn't involving taking my last breath.  Hope to find an answer...


Baby you're missing something in the air
I got a name but it don't matter
What's going on, it's cold in here
You have a life but it's torn and tattered

Maybe you're losing pieces of your heart
You have a world but it stopped turning
You lose the day and gain the dark
Love was a fire but it stopped burning

Spare your heart, save your soul
Don't drag your love across the coals
Find your feet and your fortune can be told
Release, relax, let go
And hey now let's recover your soul

Lazy old sunset sinking like a tear
Alone at night in a losing battle
That perfect world is never clear
You have to fight for the things that matter




https://youtu.be/urcrIC0fXDg?list=RDurcrIC0fXDg

[Ring'Em Up]

Keep fighting brother.

[Old School Hound]

Keep fighting brothe

Thank you, sir.  I've seen what the consequences of losing hope look like. My uncle was a former deputy sheriff in Warner Robins, GA. He had been estranged from his sister(my mother) for several years. He made a surprise visit to KY back in the early 90's in hopes of reconciling with mom. He ended up staying all week and he and mom made up. I remember talking to him the night before he left to go back to GA. He was very philosophical, asked if I thought there was an afterlife and if we'd see loved ones again who had passed on.  It was an odd, and a somewhat disconcerting, conversation.

He went home to GA the next day. He got into a bit of an argument  with his wife and left. Told her he would return. She was also on the police force there in WR. She called some of her fellow officers and told them to be looking for him, and that he was acting irrationally. The cops spotted him not far from the house. He was on foot, heading in the direction of the house. His cop friends told him to stop, that they wanted to talk to him. He turned his back to them, casually pulled a revolver that he had hidden, put it to his head, and pulled the trigger. Blew his brains out there right there on the sidewalk. He was 48 years old. Depression and mental illness is not only crippling disease, it's a killer.

[jetpilot]

I don't know if this will be cathartic or just makes things worse, but I told you I would always be honest with you and be true to who I am  and what I'm experiencing in my life. If there are others here who are going through some of the same things, maybe it will help knowing you are not alone here. I have struggled with mental illness for some time now(SHOCKER, I know...lol). But after the sudden passing of my mother a couple years ago,  things in my mind that were bad got magnified and exascerbated. It has become an insidious monster of the mind.  The depression is , indeed, crippling. The best way I could describe it is to think of the one thing that makes you sadder than you've ever been in your life, and then imagine feeling sad like that 24/7. 

Having parents(and step parents) that are very sick, dying, or already passed has contributed in a major way to triggering the devastating depressive thoughts and feelings. The physical pain hasn't helped, either. Terrible knee pain due to years of running make it hard to sleep. Trying to care for animals that I can no longer physically or mentally care for takes the stress to another level and triggers more depression. It's a vicious cycle of sadness-depression-pain-more sadness-more depression-more pain, that never ends.

It is a battle, good folks, that I am losing.  I am battling hard but I feel like it is overwhelming me, overtaking me, suffocating every ounce of joy that remains.  These are the times that I do envy the sincere folks who rely upon faith to help them when the going gets tough. Unfortunately, that's not something I have to fall back on. I'm alone in this fight... and I'm losing. In the past, I have kinda dismissed it as something I will eventually shake free of. Now, I can forsee this inner demon eventually taking my life. Deep down, it's not what I want to happen but it is becoming what I feel will happen.

I wish there was a way to get a reset. Just start anew, fresh,  without the monster inside. The Spirit , Soul, Inner Being , Core...whatever term one uses for that deeper part of oneself that connects to the Universe in a way that makes everything meaningful and purposeful needs healing. Maybe medications can help. Maybe medication is just a start and one just has to find something within himself to vanish the monster inside. I don't know.  I just know I'm losing this fight. Will it reach a point where recovering one's self is no longer possible and insanity wins forever.

If there is anyone else who suffers from  a dark depression and you fight with yourself and against yourself every day? I mean , we all have our days when we  feel beaten down by circumstances in life , right?  Do you ever feel like it's getting the better of you? Is there a way to find a healing for a hurting spirit that doesn't involve religion. To me, that question is rhetorical, as I don't think religion is a necessary ingredient but I also don't know that there are any magical healing hands or any healing rain that can wash away all of the sadness and give abundant life to pure joy, again. 

I wish there was a way out of this that didn't involving taking my last breath.  Hope to find an answer...


Baby you're missing something in the air
I got a name but it don't matter
What's going on, it's cold in here
You have a life but it's torn and tattered

Maybe you're losing pieces of your heart
You have a world but it stopped turning
You lose the day and gain the dark
Love was a fire but it stopped burning

Spare your heart, save your soul
Don't drag your love across the coals
Find your feet and your fortune can be told
Release, relax, let go
And hey now let's recover your soul

Lazy old sunset sinking like a tear
Alone at night in a losing battle
That perfect world is never clear
You have to fight for the things that matter




https://youtu.be/urcrIC0fXDg?list=RDurcrIC0fXDg

Dang buddy this makes me super sad. I wish I knew what to say...All I can tell you is I want to come drink beer with you and talk about women, music and sports.
I will try to make a couple suggestions and if you at least try them and in return I will vote for the Democratic candidate for president in 2028. I'm serious.

First, think of 10 things you are thankful for, first thing every day. You can start with TG not being a part of Corbin football lol...
When you think of family, just think of it as being eternally grateful for the time you had with them. And hope and believe you see them again, in eternal life. Which leads to the most important thing: Find God, save yourself for eternity.
Go to your old church in Corbin. You gave up on God not because of him but because you thought a few of the people there were bad. Go back there for a service. I guarantee the message will be 100% positive and there will be zero hate for any other person, race, religious or political beliefs there. Read the Bible as a history book even if you don't believe some of it. 
And finally, don't stay mad at people who have different opinions that you. It's just upsetting. And don't stay mad at political parties or politicians. THEY AREN'T WORTH IT.
Don't think you're alone either. I read somewhere the vast majority of people are dumpster fires. Even the people who seem to have it all are dealing with inner issues we can only imagine. Check out the CEO worth $1.2 BILLION at the Coldplay concert and how his life is now in the sh!tter...It's funny to most including me but not to him lol...

Please try some of this. I wish you the best. I have enjoyed your posts on here. You have way too much to offer to think your life is no longer worth much. Hang in there and beers soon, And remember if you try the church part it will lift your spirits and buy a Democrat vote to boot lol.

[Granny Bear]

Check your PMs

[jetpilot]

And I almost forgot, got to get multiple LOLs per day.

[Old School Hound]

I don't know if this will be cathartic or just makes things worse, but I told you I would always be honest with you and be true to who I am  and what I'm experiencing in my life. If there are others here who are going through some of the same things, maybe it will help knowing you are not alone here. I have struggled with mental illness for some time now(SHOCKER, I know...lol). But after the sudden passing of my mother a couple years ago,  things in my mind that were bad got magnified and exascerbated. It has become an insidious monster of the mind.  The depression is , indeed, crippling. The best way I could describe it is to think of the one thing that makes you sadder than you've ever been in your life, and then imagine feeling sad like that 24/7. 

Having parents(and step parents) that are very sick, dying, or already passed has contributed in a major way to triggering the devastating depressive thoughts and feelings. The physical pain hasn't helped, either. Terrible knee pain due to years of running make it hard to sleep. Trying to care for animals that I can no longer physically or mentally care for takes the stress to another level and triggers more depression. It's a vicious cycle of sadness-depression-pain-more sadness-more depression-more pain, that never ends.

It is a battle, good folks, that I am losing.  I am battling hard but I feel like it is overwhelming me, overtaking me, suffocating every ounce of joy that remains.  These are the times that I do envy the sincere folks who rely upon faith to help them when the going gets tough. Unfortunately, that's not something I have to fall back on. I'm alone in this fight... and I'm losing. In the past, I have kinda dismissed it as something I will eventually shake free of. Now, I can forsee this inner demon eventually taking my life. Deep down, it's not what I want to happen but it is becoming what I feel will happen.

I wish there was a way to get a reset. Just start anew, fresh,  without the monster inside. The Spirit , Soul, Inner Being , Core...whatever term one uses for that deeper part of oneself that connects to the Universe in a way that makes everything meaningful and purposeful needs healing. Maybe medications can help. Maybe medication is just a start and one just has to find something within himself to vanish the monster inside. I don't know.  I just know I'm losing this fight. Will it reach a point where recovering one's self is no longer possible and insanity wins forever.

If there is anyone else who suffers from  a dark depression and you fight with yourself and against yourself every day? I mean , we all have our days when we  feel beaten down by circumstances in life , right?  Do you ever feel like it's getting the better of you? Is there a way to find a healing for a hurting spirit that doesn't involve religion. To me, that question is rhetorical, as I don't think religion is a necessary ingredient but I also don't know that there are any magical healing hands or any healing rain that can wash away all of the sadness and give abundant life to pure joy, again. 

I wish there was a way out of this that didn't involving taking my last breath.  Hope to find an answer...


Baby you're missing something in the air
I got a name but it don't matter
What's going on, it's cold in here
You have a life but it's torn and tattered

Maybe you're losing pieces of your heart
You have a world but it stopped turning
You lose the day and gain the dark
Love was a fire but it stopped burning

Spare your heart, save your soul
Don't drag your love across the coals
Find your feet and your fortune can be told
Release, relax, let go
And hey now let's recover your soul

Lazy old sunset sinking like a tear
Alone at night in a losing battle
That perfect world is never clear
You have to fight for the things that matter




https://youtu.be/urcrIC0fXDg?list=RDurcrIC0fXDg

Dang buddy this makes me super sad. I wish I knew what to say...All I can tell you is I want to come drink beer with you and talk about women, music and sports.
I will try to make a couple suggestions and if you at least try them and in return I will vote for the Democratic candidate for president in 2028. I'm serious.

First, think of 10 things you are thankful for, first thing every day. You can start with TG not being a part of Corbin football lol...
When you think of family, just think of it as being eternally grateful for the time you had with them. And hope and believe you see them again, in eternal life. Which leads to the most important thing: Find God, save yourself for eternity.
Go to your old church in Corbin. You gave up on God not because of him but because you thought a few of the people there were bad. Go back there for a service. I guarantee the message will be 100% positive and there will be zero hate for any other person, race, religious or political beliefs there. Read the Bible as a history book even if you don't believe some of it. 
And finally, don't stay mad at people who have different opinions that you. It's just upsetting. And don't stay mad at political parties or politicians. THEY AREN'T WORTH IT.
Don't think you're alone either. I read somewhere the vast majority of people are dumpster fires. Even the people who seem to have it all are dealing with inner issues we can only imagine. Check out the CEO worth $1.2 BILLION at the Coldplay concert and how his life is now in the sh!tter...It's funny to most including me but not to him lol...

Please try some of this. I wish you the best. I have enjoyed your posts on here. You have way too much to offer to think your life is no longer worth much. Hang in there and beers soon, And remember if you try the church part it will lift your spirits and buy a Democrat vote to boot lol.

You know how much I love you, Jet. I will take all of your suggestions to heart. I want to get better. I want to survive. I don't want this to take me under, though I feel that is definitely happening. Suicide has always just been a passing thought, nothing to be taken seriously.   It's still hard to fathom but it's no longer just a passing thought that is easily cast aside. I know that I am sick. I just don't know the way out of the sickness. Be certain of one thing, Old School doesn't do anything in boring fashion. I won't be curled up in a fetal position with an empty bottle of pills by my bedside. If I go by way of my own hands, look for me to go out in style. More likely, they'd find me all decked out in my Redhound attire hanging by the neck from the goalpost at Campbell Field/ Denes Stadium. It's a macabre thought, but a genuine thought. I just hope it's not Greer who takes me down from the goalposts.

[Old School Hound]

Isn't it odd that someone like funnyman, Robin Williams, would resort to hanging himself? Anthony Bourdain, the world renowned chef, also hanged himself. I used to watch his show on the Food Channel all the time. Couldn't fathom that either of those men would hang themselves. Mental illness doesn't care if you are the funniest man in the world or one of the world's top chefs or just an old Redhound. Both Williams and Bourdain were diagnosed with Lewy body dementia(LBD). Williams was diagnosed post-mortem and Bourdain, prior to hanging himself . I have no idea if LBD is part of my problem but I have become very forgetful. I have contributed it to brain fog from exposure to black mold but it might be worthwhile to be tested for LBD.

For those wondering why I am opening up about this on an online forum, I say why not. Maybe someone will be helped by seeing that they are not along in their struggle. Maybe I will learn something that will help me beat this illness. As far as people thinking I'm crazy, well, you all already knew that a long time ago. I've told you I'm crazy--- bat shit crazy. Maybe now you'll understand a little better, knowing about some of the monsters that crawl around inside me. Believe me, though, I don't want to feel this way. I just want a reset. Wake up from a deep sleep and start all over from birth. No guilt, no regrets, no self-loathing. Time machine, please...

[King Kong]

Thoughts and Prayers OSH

JP said it best when he posted above.  That was some awesome advice he gave, the absolute best.  That's some stuff that we all needed to hear, that we all can use.

I don't know where to start either but your post really hits home to me and OSH your definitely not alone.  I suffer from anxiety, ocd, and depression.  I'm doing alot better now than I was but I still deal with these things everyday.  At one point in my life I was in so bad of shape with these things, I got put on disability. 

My doctor's, which I was seeing alot at the time, they all told me it could take a year or longer, to get my disability approved.  They said be prepared to get turned down several times and I'd likely have my disability case appear before a judge.  I was in so bad of shape with anxiety, ocd, and depression, I never got turned down the first time.  It took two months, is all it took for me to get my first check.  That's how bad off I was.

I couldn't leave the house or drive because I was so bad off. Even quit fishing and hunting, now that's bad for me, a definite sign I wasn't right lol!  Shoot going from one room to another was a challenge. 

Idk what really caused this.  I was the happiest person someone could meet up until that point.  Just a big goofball about like I am know, again lol

I got better and pulled through.  I'll tell ya more about my journey OSH. Either by posting on here later or I'll have my wife set my messenger up on this site, and I'll talk to you through that. Just as long as she doesn't see where I've been calling her Miss Kong on here, I'll be ok 

I will say when it first started, I didn't want to be here anymore.  I had thoughts that I normally wouldn't have.  I'll tell ya more about it later if you want. 

I was as low as one could get with these types of mental illnesses.  I pulled through and I know you can and will to OSH

I don’t mind one bit talking about it.  One of the good things that happened to me once I started getting better.  I actually went back to college.  Got both my associates and bachelor's degrees. In my classes I often wrote about my experiences with anxiety, ocd, and depression, even in open discussion boards for everyone to see. Many of the replies I received was others who had past similar experiences and others saying they were currently dealing with these things. So we're definitely not alone.  It's more common than one might think.

Like me going back to college and getting my degrees, I had way more to offer than what I thought, and OSH so do you

I'll be in touch again shortly

[Granny Bear]

I LOVE baby belly laughs!!!!

Robin Williams tried more than hanging himself. If I'm remembering correctly, he slit his wrists and took sleeping pills. I think hanging was probably what finally put in in a coma and he died of asphyxiation. Poor guy. I felt/feel really badly for him.

There's nothing wrong with opening up on an online forum. I joined an online discussion group one time, hoping it would help my depression. It didn't. But sure didn't hurt to try.

Hang in there OSH. I have a feeling this will get better for you. At least you know some of us care for your hateful old ass.

[Old School Hound]

I LOVE baby belly laughs!!!!

Robin Williams tried more than hanging himself.  If I'm remembering correctly, he slit his wrists and took sleeping pills.  I think hanging was probably what finally put in in a coma and he died of asphyxiation.  Poor guy.  I felt/feel really badly for him.

There's nothing wrong with opening up on an online forum.  I joined an online discussion group one time, hoping it would help my depression.  It didn't.  But sure didn't hurt to try.

Hang in there OSH.  I have a feeling this will get better for you.  At least you know some of us care for your hateful old ass.

LOL.  I'm really not that old guys who yells at kids to get off his lawn. Well, not most of the time. 


I think one of the best things that come from topics like this one is that we learn that there are many others that suffer from some of the same kinds of mental illnesses- depression, ocd, phobias, anxieties, hoarding paranoia, losing touch with reality, etc...  No one is without some sort of mental condition that needs improving. I don't mind discussing my sickness, at all. I know that, in a sense, we are all in a similar boat. I hope spmeone is helped by me opening up about this.

[Old School Hound]

Thoughts and Prayers OSH

JP said it best when he posted above.  That was some awesome advice he gave, the absolute best.  That's some stuff that we all needed to hear, that we all can use.

I don't know where to start either but your post really hits home to me and OSH your definitely not alone.  I suffer from anxiety, ocd, and depression.  I'm doing alot better now than I was but I still deal with these things everyday.  At one point in my life I was in so bad of shape with these things, I got put on disability. 

My doctor's, which I was seeing alot at the time, they all told me it could take a year or longer, to get my disability approved.  They said be prepared to get turned down several times and I'd likely have my disability case appear before a judge.  I was in so bad of shape with anxiety, ocd, and depression, I never got turned down the first time.  It took two months, is all it took for me to get my first check.  That's how bad off I was.

I couldn't leave the house or drive because I was so bad off. Even quit fishing and hunting, now that's bad for me, a definite sign I wasn't right lol!  Shoot going from one room to another was a challenge. 

Idk what really caused this.  I was the happiest person someone could meet up until that point.  Just a big goofball about like I am know, again lol

I got better and pulled through.  I'll tell ya more about my journey OSH. Either by posting on here later or I'll have my wife set my messenger up on this site, and I'll talk to you through that. Just as long as she doesn't see where I've been calling her Miss Kong on here, I'll be ok 

I will say when it first started, I didn't want to be here anymore.  I had thoughts that I normally wouldn't have.  I'll tell ya more about it later if you want. 

I was as low as one could get with these types of mental illnesses.  I pulled through and I know you can and will to OSH

I don’t mind one bit talking about it.  One of the good things that happened to me once I started getting better.  I actually went back to college.  Got both my associates and bachelor's degrees. In my classes I often wrote about my experiences with anxiety, ocd, and depression, even in open discussion boards for everyone to see. Many of the replies I received was others who had past similar experiences and others saying they were currently dealing with these things. So we're definitely not alone.  It's more common than one might think.

Like me going back to college and getting my degrees, I had way more to offer than what I thought, and OSH so do you

I'll be in touch again shortly

Thank you, Kong. You know what I've said about you many times. You are one of the nicest , most fun, guys out there. For me to think so highly of a Johnson Central guy speaks volumes. 

[Granny Bear]

Thoughts and Prayers OSH

JP said it best when he posted above.  That was some awesome advice he gave, the absolute best.  That's some stuff that we all needed to hear, that we all can use.

I don't know where to start either but your post really hits home to me and OSH your definitely not alone.  I suffer from anxiety, ocd, and depression.  I'm doing alot better now than I was but I still deal with these things everyday.  At one point in my life I was in so bad of shape with these things, I got put on disability. 

My doctor's, which I was seeing alot at the time, they all told me it could take a year or longer, to get my disability approved.  They said be prepared to get turned down several times and I'd likely have my disability case appear before a judge.  I was in so bad of shape with anxiety, ocd, and depression, I never got turned down the first time.  It took two months, is all it took for me to get my first check.  That's how bad off I was.

I couldn't leave the house or drive because I was so bad off. Even quit fishing and hunting, now that's bad for me, a definite sign I wasn't right lol!  Shoot going from one room to another was a challenge. 

Idk what really caused this.  I was the happiest person someone could meet up until that point.  Just a big goofball about like I am know, again lol

I got better and pulled through.  I'll tell ya more about my journey OSH. Either by posting on here later or I'll have my wife set my messenger up on this site, and I'll talk to you through that. Just as long as she doesn't see where I've been calling her Miss Kong on here, I'll be ok 

I will say when it first started, I didn't want to be here anymore.  I had thoughts that I normally wouldn't have.  I'll tell ya more about it later if you want. 

I was as low as one could get with these types of mental illnesses.  I pulled through and I know you can and will to OSH

I don’t mind one bit talking about it.  One of the good things that happened to me once I started getting better.  I actually went back to college.  Got both my associates and bachelor's degrees. In my classes I often wrote about my experiences with anxiety, ocd, and depression, even in open discussion boards for everyone to see. Many of the replies I received was others who had past similar experiences and others saying they were currently dealing with these things. So we're definitely not alone.  It's more common than one might think.

Like me going back to college and getting my degrees, I had way more to offer than what I thought, and OSH so do you

I'll be in touch again shortly

I absolutely don't care if anybody knows that I have had depression, anxiety and emotional issues.  I believe everybody does at some point in time.  I also don't think Mrs. Kong would mind that reference!!    While I don't mind admitting my disorders, I'm not comfortable sharing details on a public forum.  I guess that means that I still have some improvements to make and growing to do.  That's okay.  As long as I'm moving forward; however slowly, that means I'm not moving backward. Fishing has always helped me to center myself, and calm my brain.

I LOVE baby belly laughs!!!!

Robin Williams tried more than hanging himself.  If I'm remembering correctly, he slit his wrists and took sleeping pills.  I think hanging was probably what finally put in in a coma and he died of asphyxiation.  Poor guy.  I felt/feel really badly for him.

There's nothing wrong with opening up on an online forum.  I joined an online discussion group one time, hoping it would help my depression.  It didn't.  But sure didn't hurt to try.

Hang in there OSH.  I have a feeling this will get better for you.  At least you know some of us care for your hateful old ass.

LOL.  I'm really not that old guys who yells at kids to get off his lawn. Well, not most of the time. 


I think one of the best things that come from topics like this one is that we learn that there are many others that suffer from some of the same kinds of mental illnesses- depression, ocd, phobias, anxieties, hoarding paranoia, losing touch with reality, etc...  No one is without some sort of mental condition that needs improving. I don't mind discussing my sickness, at all. I know that, in a sense, we are all in a similar boat. I hope spmeone is helped by me opening up about this.

Interesting list......let's see now....
OCD.  Some.  I like doing things in a specific order.  My money MUST be neat, in ascending order and turned the same way. 
Phobias.  Yes.....heights, spiders but that's about all.  
Anxiety.  Absolutely.
Hoarding.  Not in ANY way.  I may err on the opposite!
Losing touch with reality.  No.  BUT, if I did lose touch with reality..would I know it?

[jetpilot]

Some great stuff on here. Anyone who says they don't have issues is lying their ass off lol...



Thought this ending was beautifully put:

[King Kong]

Thoughts and Prayers OSH

JP said it best when he posted above.  That was some awesome advice he gave, the absolute best.  That's some stuff that we all needed to hear, that we all can use.

I don't know where to start either but your post really hits home to me and OSH your definitely not alone.  I suffer from anxiety, ocd, and depression.  I'm doing alot better now than I was but I still deal with these things everyday.  At one point in my life I was in so bad of shape with these things, I got put on disability. 

My doctor's, which I was seeing alot at the time, they all told me it could take a year or longer, to get my disability approved.  They said be prepared to get turned down several times and I'd likely have my disability case appear before a judge.  I was in so bad of shape with anxiety, ocd, and depression, I never got turned down the first time.  It took two months, is all it took for me to get my first check.  That's how bad off I was.

I couldn't leave the house or drive because I was so bad off. Even quit fishing and hunting, now that's bad for me, a definite sign I wasn't right lol!  Shoot going from one room to another was a challenge. 

Idk what really caused this.  I was the happiest person someone could meet up until that point.  Just a big goofball about like I am know, again lol

I got better and pulled through.  I'll tell ya more about my journey OSH. Either by posting on here later or I'll have my wife set my messenger up on this site, and I'll talk to you through that. Just as long as she doesn't see where I've been calling her Miss Kong on here, I'll be ok 

I will say when it first started, I didn't want to be here anymore.  I had thoughts that I normally wouldn't have.  I'll tell ya more about it later if you want. 

I was as low as one could get with these types of mental illnesses.  I pulled through and I know you can and will to OSH

I don’t mind one bit talking about it.  One of the good things that happened to me once I started getting better.  I actually went back to college.  Got both my associates and bachelor's degrees. In my classes I often wrote about my experiences with anxiety, ocd, and depression, even in open discussion boards for everyone to see. Many of the replies I received was others who had past similar experiences and others saying they were currently dealing with these things. So we're definitely not alone.  It's more common than one might think.

Like me going back to college and getting my degrees, I had way more to offer than what I thought, and OSH so do you

I'll be in touch again shortly

I absolutely don't care if anybody knows that I have had depression, anxiety and emotional issues.  I believe everybody does at some point in time.  I also don't think Mrs. Kong would mind that reference!!    While I don't mind admitting my disorders, I'm not comfortable sharing details on a public forum.  I guess that means that I still have some improvements to make and growing to do.  That's okay.  As long as I'm moving forward; however slowly, that means I'm not moving backward.  Fishing has always helped me to center myself, and calm my brain.

I LOVE baby belly laughs!!!!

Robin Williams tried more than hanging himself.  If I'm remembering correctly, he slit his wrists and took sleeping pills.  I think hanging was probably what finally put in in a coma and he died of asphyxiation.  Poor guy.  I felt/feel really badly for him.

There's nothing wrong with opening up on an online forum.  I joined an online discussion group one time, hoping it would help my depression.  It didn't.  But sure didn't hurt to try.

Hang in there OSH.  I have a feeling this will get better for you.  At least you know some of us care for your hateful old ass.

LOL.  I'm really not that old guys who yells at kids to get off his lawn. Well, not most of the time. 


I think one of the best things that come from topics like this one is that we learn that there are many others that suffer from some of the same kinds of mental illnesses- depression, ocd, phobias, anxieties, hoarding paranoia, losing touch with reality, etc...  No one is without some sort of mental condition that needs improving. I don't mind discussing my sickness, at all. I know that, in a sense, we are all in a similar boat. I hope spmeone is helped by me opening up about this.

Interesting list......let's see now....
OCD.  Some.  I like doing things in a specific order.  My money MUST be neat, in ascending order and turned the same way. 
Phobias.  Yes.....heights, spiders but that's about all.  
Anxiety.  Absolutely.
Hoarding.  Not in ANY way.  I may err on the opposite!
Losing touch with reality.  No.  BUT, if I did lose touch with reality..would I know it?

Your right Granny she wouldn't mind me calling her Miss Kong, she's definitely used to my goofy ways by now! She knowed what she was getting into when she signed the dotted line
I'm sorry to hear Granny you suffer from these things as well. I'm really glad to hear that you've made improvements.  And it doesn't matter if someone doesn't want to open up on a online thread, that definitely isn't a sign of weakness.  

Fishing is also something that helps me deal with and forget about my mental illness.  When I'm fishing nothing else matters. My thoughts only revolve around trying to get the fish to bite lol! I think I told OSH about how fishing and hobbies help me, when I sent him a private message.  At least I think I sent him a private message, I'm not the best with technology lol. So OSH if ya see this you might want to check your messages. 

Not only OSH but Granny or anyone else, if anybody on here needs anything regarding mental illnesses or anything, feel free to holler at me on here. I'd be more than happy to talk to you. Because like I said, I got as low as one could get with mental illness.  If I can pull thru then anyone else can to. If I do go into further details it will be thru private message.  To some JC followers, idk if they post on here or not, I mighta just given away my true identity talking about my experience somewhat, and I'm okay with that.  For the most part, everything I do I just like to keep a low profile.  

Hobbies, a strong support cast, good counselor I had one of the best, and faith in the Good Lord is what helped me get through.  When I'm talking counseling, I mean years of it. Weekly for a long time, then every other week, all the way thru to every 3 months. Now I haven't had to see a counselor in years.

If you read the Bible any, the book of Job, is what my life really relates to. Job had it all then lost it, went thru a very tough time and he pulled thru. He ended up getting back double what he had. It's like ever since I've gotten the edge over mental illnesses, the good things in my life have been doubled.  Way better than what I deserve really. But The book of Job is something I can really relate to.  Makes me think of myself. 

If anyone needs anything feel free to get in touch.  Believe I got my inbox set up on here, at least I think I done it right lol

[Old School Hound]

Correct me if you think I'm wrong but I think every human being deals with mental illness to some degree. Tell me someone who doesn't have an issue with anxiety, grief, shame, guilt, regret, fear , insecurity, self-hate, and on and on. Obviously, there are degrees of mental illness. Mine is much worse now than it was five or six years ago. I always thought I could just shake off mentals issues. I know now that the days of just "shaking it off" are over. I need help or I am going to die. Simple as that.

[King Kong]

Correct me if you think I'm wrong but I think every human being deals with mental illness to some degree. Tell me someone who doesn't have an issue with anxiety, grief, shame, guilt, regret, fear , insecurity, self-hate, and on and on. Obviously, there are degrees of mental illness. Mine is much worse now than it was five or six years ago. I always thought I could just shake off mentals issues. I know now that the days of just "shaking it off" are over. I need help or I am going to die. Simple as that.

Your right OSH everyone does deal with mental illness to a certain degree. Several on both sides of my family, mom and dads side both suffers from it. Same with my wifes side of the family. I also have several friends who deal with it too.

Check your messages OSH when you get a chance.  You can contact me anytime.  I'll help in anyway I can.  Hang in there things will get better