[cuppett777]

Football Truisms
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What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? ""Will the defendant please rise."

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If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?The police officer.

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How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

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What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?A full set of teeth.


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University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week;



the other half will have to dress themselves.


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How is the Indiana football team like a possum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

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Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

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How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?Pay him for the pizza.



Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear.

In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."




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Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

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What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?

Drool.

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How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a sophomore course.

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How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him.

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Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.

One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."

The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"


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A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.

He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.

Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.

i know these are about college teams but not everyone goes in that thread, and some are funny...

[E's Army]

They all apply to Tennessee.

[mysonis55]

I was thinking more of West Virginia. You should know about them because most of their kids leave and come play at Fairview.