[Aiden]

For the past month or so, I've been spending my free time trying to write a short story. I love to write, and I've always wanted to write at least one short story. I know it's not going to be a bestseller , but it's a fun little hobby for me.

I thought it would be fun to tell what I have of my story here on bluegrassrivals.com and get some feedback on what changes I need to make. Not sure if there are many people here who share my interest, but I thought of this to maybe find a few.


Here's the framework of the story:

Main Characters:
The story revolves around a guy named David who was raised in poverty and is working as a janitor for a small college. He was married and has a son, but his wife died in a car accident five years ago. David loves to read books and is very smart, despite never going to college. He has a good friend named Christopher who also works as a janitor at the same place. Christopher is the opposite in that he isn't very smart, but is very outgoing. A third significant character in the story is Jenna, who works as an assistant coach for the soccer team at the small college. The three of these become good friends and are the focus of the story. They all live in a neighborhood near the outside of Detroit.


Plot:
Detroit, Michigan becomes a haven for organized crime. A large mob organization takes root in Detroit and prospers because they're able to take advantage of the bad economy and weak police force. The city starts to heavily fund the police force in order to combat the mob. In response, the mob encourages citizen riots in order to distract the police force from stopping the mob. A riot takes place near David's house (with his son inside), and he decides to go to the elderly pastor at his church to talk about having many - if not all - of the city's pastors as well as any government officials to discourage the riots from taking place. David then asks for a pastor to take leadership of the movement. The elderly pastor explains that he is too old for the task, and also tells David that many church leaders and government officials in the city would refuse due to fear of ridicule from the public. After going to other churches and seeing this for himself, David decides to make his own group. Every now and then, the elderly pastor gives David advice on how to maintain the movement. Christopher and Jenna hear about David starting a movement, and join in order to help.

David's group eventually makes a significant impact in stopping the riots, and the mob takes notice. The rest of the story involves David trying to maintain peace in each neighborhood and the mob trying to create more chaos. The more riots that David can prevent, the more the police can focus on the mob.



I've become a little more detailed, but I'll stop here and let all of you think what I have so far. I know I'm not the best writer, so go ahead and let me know of any changes I need to make - especially in the storyline.

[RunItUpTheGut]

Im no expert on writing, heck I had a hard time figuring out how to write a paper in APA in college, but what you are writing does seem interesting.

My wife reads and reads and reads. Personally a book has to be very interesting for me to even open. What its about means more than the writing IMO.