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07-09-2010, 02:53 PM
George Karl admitted The Almighty wouldâve had a hard tough time keeping No. 24 in front of him:
âI think Jesus would have had trouble covering him,â Karl said after dropping the series 4-2.
So, we here at WCBias.com were left wondering, what would happen if Kobe Bryant played a little one-on-one with Jesus? Yeah, weâre going there. First team to 11 wins â¦
■Jesus wears freaking hemp sandals. How in the Lordâs name is he going to guard Kobe and his $150 kicks. Kobe with the tomahawk dunk, takes an early 2-0 lead as Jack Nicholson screams, âHeeereâs Kobe!â
■On the next possession, it becomes clear Jesus has the power of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit on his side. Taking on double teams is one thing. Four-on-1 is too much to handle for Kobe. Jesus makes the extra pass, ties it up 2-2 on a reverse layup by the Holy Spirit.
■Jesus is just over 6-foot, and while heâs strong on the inside, he doesnât have the all-around skill set that Kobe does. Kobeâs jay is also a lot smoother than Jesus. Kobe goes up 5-2 on the fade-away three.
■That old basketball cliché, the âBasketball Gods werenât with us today?â Yeah, doesnât apply to JC, because the Globetrotter Gods made sure Jesusâ big three from the corner hit nothing but net. Tied 5-5.
■Kobe claims to be a God-fearing man, but âthe best closer in the gameâ has never showed much mercy. Facial on the bearded one: Kobe 7, Jesus 5.
■Kobe, with his angel halo tattoo of the wifey on his arm, uses that âhigher powerâ to swat Jesusâ next layup ⦠despite the fact that it was clearly above the cylinder. Unfortunately for Jesus, Joe Crawford was calling the game. Kobe quickly clears the ball beyond the three-point arc and hits the trey. Kobe 10, Jesus 5. Game point, Bryant.
■Just when you thought it was over, Christ is resurrected (Where will amazing happen this year?) and wields his flaming sword, slicing through the lane with a left-handed finger-roll and cutting the deficit to 10-7.
■Kobe, still upset over the goal-tending call, takes it straight to the rim on his next possession, bowling over Jesus and banking home a layup off the glass. Jesus, who initially appeared to be in the restricted area, was actually hovering above the arc on the replay â as if walking on water â and Tim Donaghy overrules Crawford to wipe off the basket.
■WWJD? Well, heâd dribble right, do a Skip-To-My-Lou cross-over to his left, bounce the rock off Kobeâs fat forehead and turn the âOH BABY!!!â dish into an And-One, 360-degree alley-oop to himself. Jesus âHot Sauceâ Christ ties it up 10-10, all by his lonesome. Who needs the Father, Son and Holy Spirit?
■With the game on the line, Kobe yo-yos up and down to run out the shotclock. Jesus double-takes after noticing an angel-like figure to his left, caught off guard by what appears to be Chick Hearnâs Buddha-like spirit â calling the game for KCAL Cloud 9 TV.
âThe mustardâs off the hotdog,â Chick laughs as Kobe dribbles âround his back and cuts toward the lane.
âThis gameâs in the refrigerator,â Chick continued to Jesusâ amazement. âThe door is closed, the lights are out, the eggs are cooling, the butterâs getting hard, and the Jell-Oâs jigglinâ!âJesus initially thinks to himself, âWTF, this game isnât over ⦠,â but is reminded by the K-Martesk John 3:16 tattoo on his right forearm that âwhosoever believeth in (me) should not perish, but have everlasting lifeâ and also have the ability to dunk on his sacred face â which Kobe does, screaming, âWhat would Kobe do, m()+h@f()ck@!â
Well, KWWD (Kobe Would Win, Dude), 12-10.
âI think Jesus would have had trouble covering him,â Karl said after dropping the series 4-2.
So, we here at WCBias.com were left wondering, what would happen if Kobe Bryant played a little one-on-one with Jesus? Yeah, weâre going there. First team to 11 wins â¦
■Jesus wears freaking hemp sandals. How in the Lordâs name is he going to guard Kobe and his $150 kicks. Kobe with the tomahawk dunk, takes an early 2-0 lead as Jack Nicholson screams, âHeeereâs Kobe!â
■On the next possession, it becomes clear Jesus has the power of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit on his side. Taking on double teams is one thing. Four-on-1 is too much to handle for Kobe. Jesus makes the extra pass, ties it up 2-2 on a reverse layup by the Holy Spirit.
■Jesus is just over 6-foot, and while heâs strong on the inside, he doesnât have the all-around skill set that Kobe does. Kobeâs jay is also a lot smoother than Jesus. Kobe goes up 5-2 on the fade-away three.
■That old basketball cliché, the âBasketball Gods werenât with us today?â Yeah, doesnât apply to JC, because the Globetrotter Gods made sure Jesusâ big three from the corner hit nothing but net. Tied 5-5.
■Kobe claims to be a God-fearing man, but âthe best closer in the gameâ has never showed much mercy. Facial on the bearded one: Kobe 7, Jesus 5.
■Kobe, with his angel halo tattoo of the wifey on his arm, uses that âhigher powerâ to swat Jesusâ next layup ⦠despite the fact that it was clearly above the cylinder. Unfortunately for Jesus, Joe Crawford was calling the game. Kobe quickly clears the ball beyond the three-point arc and hits the trey. Kobe 10, Jesus 5. Game point, Bryant.
■Just when you thought it was over, Christ is resurrected (Where will amazing happen this year?) and wields his flaming sword, slicing through the lane with a left-handed finger-roll and cutting the deficit to 10-7.
■Kobe, still upset over the goal-tending call, takes it straight to the rim on his next possession, bowling over Jesus and banking home a layup off the glass. Jesus, who initially appeared to be in the restricted area, was actually hovering above the arc on the replay â as if walking on water â and Tim Donaghy overrules Crawford to wipe off the basket.
■WWJD? Well, heâd dribble right, do a Skip-To-My-Lou cross-over to his left, bounce the rock off Kobeâs fat forehead and turn the âOH BABY!!!â dish into an And-One, 360-degree alley-oop to himself. Jesus âHot Sauceâ Christ ties it up 10-10, all by his lonesome. Who needs the Father, Son and Holy Spirit?
■With the game on the line, Kobe yo-yos up and down to run out the shotclock. Jesus double-takes after noticing an angel-like figure to his left, caught off guard by what appears to be Chick Hearnâs Buddha-like spirit â calling the game for KCAL Cloud 9 TV.
âThe mustardâs off the hotdog,â Chick laughs as Kobe dribbles âround his back and cuts toward the lane.
âThis gameâs in the refrigerator,â Chick continued to Jesusâ amazement. âThe door is closed, the lights are out, the eggs are cooling, the butterâs getting hard, and the Jell-Oâs jigglinâ!âJesus initially thinks to himself, âWTF, this game isnât over ⦠,â but is reminded by the K-Martesk John 3:16 tattoo on his right forearm that âwhosoever believeth in (me) should not perish, but have everlasting lifeâ and also have the ability to dunk on his sacred face â which Kobe does, screaming, âWhat would Kobe do, m()+h@f()ck@!â
Well, KWWD (Kobe Would Win, Dude), 12-10.
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07-09-2010, 02:56 PM
This could be true if Tim Donaghy was referring. And it was in the best interest of the league.
07-09-2010, 06:09 PM
Aslan Wrote:Thanks man! This is great! Hilarious actually. I'm definitely a God fearing man and I'm offended in noway.
Your Welcome man. I thought it was hilariously great and figured you might like it as well. Im glad its not offensive, I didnt want people to take it the wrong way lol.
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