Bluegrassrivals

1. Why does George W. Bush like giving the tongue to Independent Fascist Joe Lieberman?
   They're trying to scare people off gay marriage by showing what the two of them look like together.
   
2. Why does George W. Bush like mackin' it with Independent Fascist Joe Lieberman?
   They're trying to emulate **** Cheney's naughty, gay daughter in hopes of him giving them a spanking.
   
3. Why does **** Cheney get booed off the field at Washington Nationals games?
   It reminds everyone too much of George W. Bush getting to first base with Joe Lieberman.
   
4. Why does George W. Bush like playing tonsil tennis with Independent Fascist Joe Lieberman?
   They were going to just play regular tennis at the country club, but the club let in an Asian member and they can't go back there.
   
5. Why does George W. Bush like swapping spit with Independent Fascist Joe Lieberman?
   They're combining their saliva to target at racial minorities.
   
6. Why does George W. Bush keep several cases of dijon mustard on hand?
   He's trying to be prepared, since all his criminal buddies are crying "Pardon me!"
   
7. Why do George Bush's budget plans not include the costs of occupying Iraq?
   He was going to pay for it by selling all the WMDs they find.

1. You might be a Republican if...
   You've ever complained about liberal bias in the obituaries section.
   
2. You might be a Republican if...
   Your electric chair has a kite with a key on it.
   
3. You might be a Republican if...
   You'll spend $20 billion guarding a bridge against the possibility of a terrorist attack, but won't spend 20 cents to keep it from falling down on its own.
   
4. You might be a Republican if...
   You think a Lynch film is a documentary on race relations.
   
5. You might be a Republican if...
   You think spooning is something you do at Dairy Queen.
   
6. You might be a Republican if...
   You think smeared bagels are victims of the New York Times.
   
7. You might be a Republican if...
   You think the right to free assembly is talking about construction companies.
   
8. You might be a Republican if...
   You have to number the entries of "Hate Week" on your calendar.
   
9. You might be a Republican if...
   Your desk has a drawer for holding computer punchcards.
   
10. You might be a Republican if...
    You classify an elegant dinner as one that needs holes punched in the plastic.Non-Originals: (from Ted Panitz's site)
    
    
11. You might be a Republican if...
    You've named your kids Deduction One and Deduction Two.
    
12. You might be a Republican if...
    You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.
    
13. You might be a Republican if...
    You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
    
14. You might be a Republican if...
    You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.
    
15. You might be a Republican if...
    You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."
    
16. You might be a Republican if...
    You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
    
17. You might be a Republican if...
    You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.
    
18. You might be a Republican if...
    You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
    
19. You might be a Republican if...
    You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
    
20. You might be a Republican if...
    You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
    
21. You might be a Republican if...
    You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.
    
22. You might be a Republican if...
    You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
    
23. You might be a Republican if...
    You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
    
24. You might be a Republican if...
    You've ever called education a luxury.
    
25. You might be a Republican if...
    You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
    
26. You might be a Republican if...
    You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
    
27. You might be a Republican if...
    When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

BelfryPride Wrote:Best Republican Joke...

[Image: Mission-accomplished.jpg]

BelfryPride Wrote:Best Republican Joke...

[Image: Mission-accomplished.jpg]