03-16-2007, 06:39 PM
"Good thing Opie is a Blackburn"
Backyard Banter
Jeff Vanderbeck
The high school basketball tournament is over now and as the season began I considered not attending the games at the Expo Center. I don't have a vested interest and the bookies in Vegas didn't have a line on any of the games; imagine that.
I submitted to the will of my children and went. It was one of the better decisions I made last week. I took the kids to games on Wednesday through Friday evenings. All had a good time. And in spite of what the audit reported, the center looked healthy.
Both boys and girls played really well. It was a little confusing for me, though. There were a lot of kids with the same last names on different teams. There are Ratliffs, Tacketts, Hatfields, McCoys. At times I wasn't sure if I was at a ball game or a jen-u-ine feud with all the runnin' and gunnin' goin on. At one point, that little feller from Pikeville, Jordan Bell, got his face stepped on and bled all over the court. Maintenance had to come out and wipe the blood. I was waiting for the gun shots to go off from family and friends or at least a pig to run on the court. But Jordan was a true gentleman about it - something you rarely see in sports these days.
During the girls' games, it was comical to see short, pasty white girls in dreadlocks playing basketball. Usually these scenes are more of an urban landscape. I was also amazed at the number of tattoos being displayed. A lot of these kids marred their bodies with body art. I was too far away to determine the quality of the design; just colors on different parts. I didn't see too much body jewelry, and as Martha Stewart would say âThat's a good thing.â Maybe the league doesn't permit such chicanery?
The coup de grace was the entertainment, cheerleaders, bands, dancers and the fans. But the most memorable for me was the dance club from Phelps. This club consists of a bunch of girls in brightly colored pastel uniforms with matching hats and hi-top Chucks. Hi-top Chucks are the original basketball sneakers; canvas, Chuck Taylor, over-the-ankle shoes. Most of the girls had pig tails protruding through their caps. However, these multi-colored gals were dwarfed by the main player. His name is Donothan. And when I first heard this I was immediately reminded of Pikeville's City Manager, an innocent-looking Opie-like character named Donovan Blackburn. And as I watched in amazement at Donothan, I thought of Donovan. I must share the wicked scenarios.
Donothan has moves that would make Elvis shiver. His hips move in ways that are unnatural. He is a very talented dancer who is limber and speaks volumes without saying a word. This kid really got the crowd moving. Big burly guys were quietly wiggling in their chairs trying not to be noticed. Women and girls of all ages were getting ready to dance in the aisles. The audience appreciated his moves as they cheered very loud after the performance.
I think Opie could take some lessons from this young man with a similar name. Maybe Opie could show up in tights at a city council meeting and when he has to make an important decision he can just bust a move. Mike de Bourbon can get real aggressive about the airport board and the coal company could say they are not moving any earth for the Island Creek land development deal, putting Opie in a precarious position. Instead of deferring to his honor, the Mayor, he can break out some cardboard and spin on his head while break dancing. de Bourbon and the mine company would be so mesmerized they would wash their hands of the whole deal and Dancin' Donovan would get the affordable housing started.
Opie could do a lot with his non-verbal communication skills through dance if he would learn a thing or two from Donothan. If he went to Frankfort and asked the governor for the adequate funds for the Expo Center while performing a sultry table dance right at the capitol rotunda, I think he would walk away with the necessary capital in the form of a check. And they may even let him keep the dollars stuck in his overalls.
Who can turn down the boyish charm of Opie Blackburn while he is âDancing like the starsâ and asking for millions to make this county a better place? I want to start a campaign to pay Donothan to teach Donovan how to dance. I bet the funds raised for the cause could even be tax deductible. He may even be able to go to Washington to perform for money. Send your donations directly to me at the paper and I'll make sure they get in the right hands, less of course management fees.
If the plan works well, the two D's can pair up and start a movement. We can call them âDancing D's for Dollars.â Since Hillbilly Days are right around the corner, they can have their debut performance at the Expo Center during the intermission of the Montgomery Gentry show. This will not only prime them for Frankfort but will set the pace for the special activities of next year's regional tournament. If we are lucky we can commission âTwinkle Toesâ Pinson to join the squad. Now that's worth five bucks. Hey! When the Expo Center opened, Donna Damron said we are only limited by our imagination and as you can tell, we really are not very limited.
Good luck to the Central Lady Hawks and the Valley Cats!
Backyard Banter
Jeff Vanderbeck
The high school basketball tournament is over now and as the season began I considered not attending the games at the Expo Center. I don't have a vested interest and the bookies in Vegas didn't have a line on any of the games; imagine that.
I submitted to the will of my children and went. It was one of the better decisions I made last week. I took the kids to games on Wednesday through Friday evenings. All had a good time. And in spite of what the audit reported, the center looked healthy.
Both boys and girls played really well. It was a little confusing for me, though. There were a lot of kids with the same last names on different teams. There are Ratliffs, Tacketts, Hatfields, McCoys. At times I wasn't sure if I was at a ball game or a jen-u-ine feud with all the runnin' and gunnin' goin on. At one point, that little feller from Pikeville, Jordan Bell, got his face stepped on and bled all over the court. Maintenance had to come out and wipe the blood. I was waiting for the gun shots to go off from family and friends or at least a pig to run on the court. But Jordan was a true gentleman about it - something you rarely see in sports these days.
During the girls' games, it was comical to see short, pasty white girls in dreadlocks playing basketball. Usually these scenes are more of an urban landscape. I was also amazed at the number of tattoos being displayed. A lot of these kids marred their bodies with body art. I was too far away to determine the quality of the design; just colors on different parts. I didn't see too much body jewelry, and as Martha Stewart would say âThat's a good thing.â Maybe the league doesn't permit such chicanery?
The coup de grace was the entertainment, cheerleaders, bands, dancers and the fans. But the most memorable for me was the dance club from Phelps. This club consists of a bunch of girls in brightly colored pastel uniforms with matching hats and hi-top Chucks. Hi-top Chucks are the original basketball sneakers; canvas, Chuck Taylor, over-the-ankle shoes. Most of the girls had pig tails protruding through their caps. However, these multi-colored gals were dwarfed by the main player. His name is Donothan. And when I first heard this I was immediately reminded of Pikeville's City Manager, an innocent-looking Opie-like character named Donovan Blackburn. And as I watched in amazement at Donothan, I thought of Donovan. I must share the wicked scenarios.
Donothan has moves that would make Elvis shiver. His hips move in ways that are unnatural. He is a very talented dancer who is limber and speaks volumes without saying a word. This kid really got the crowd moving. Big burly guys were quietly wiggling in their chairs trying not to be noticed. Women and girls of all ages were getting ready to dance in the aisles. The audience appreciated his moves as they cheered very loud after the performance.
I think Opie could take some lessons from this young man with a similar name. Maybe Opie could show up in tights at a city council meeting and when he has to make an important decision he can just bust a move. Mike de Bourbon can get real aggressive about the airport board and the coal company could say they are not moving any earth for the Island Creek land development deal, putting Opie in a precarious position. Instead of deferring to his honor, the Mayor, he can break out some cardboard and spin on his head while break dancing. de Bourbon and the mine company would be so mesmerized they would wash their hands of the whole deal and Dancin' Donovan would get the affordable housing started.
Opie could do a lot with his non-verbal communication skills through dance if he would learn a thing or two from Donothan. If he went to Frankfort and asked the governor for the adequate funds for the Expo Center while performing a sultry table dance right at the capitol rotunda, I think he would walk away with the necessary capital in the form of a check. And they may even let him keep the dollars stuck in his overalls.
Who can turn down the boyish charm of Opie Blackburn while he is âDancing like the starsâ and asking for millions to make this county a better place? I want to start a campaign to pay Donothan to teach Donovan how to dance. I bet the funds raised for the cause could even be tax deductible. He may even be able to go to Washington to perform for money. Send your donations directly to me at the paper and I'll make sure they get in the right hands, less of course management fees.
If the plan works well, the two D's can pair up and start a movement. We can call them âDancing D's for Dollars.â Since Hillbilly Days are right around the corner, they can have their debut performance at the Expo Center during the intermission of the Montgomery Gentry show. This will not only prime them for Frankfort but will set the pace for the special activities of next year's regional tournament. If we are lucky we can commission âTwinkle Toesâ Pinson to join the squad. Now that's worth five bucks. Hey! When the Expo Center opened, Donna Damron said we are only limited by our imagination and as you can tell, we really are not very limited.
Good luck to the Central Lady Hawks and the Valley Cats!